No More Whoppers

Happy Holidays from your friends at NoMoWo! Pull out your old beat-up copy of Home Alone and sync this baby up! And then keep the change, ya filthy animal!

It sure is our 122nd episode! This week, the two things Ray hates to hear; Alex revisits early NoMoWo; a visit from Australia’s finest; surviving health and safety training; heading home for the holidays; Serial is good but not the best thing ever; improv out of nowhere; Random Acts of Pasta Guy revisited; video game talk (your Yakuzas, your Streets Fighter, etc.), and the world-threatening Amiibo shortage! This podcast is for loading and unloading only.

Our 21st palindrome! This week, Alex continues eating pizza on mic; Ray enrolls openly; Alex meets his girlfriend’s folks over a lovely lunch; November wrap-up and how we Thanksgave; holiday game purchases; the wonders of credit cards; planning the final issue of SCHLUMP; Neverending Generosity Bowl; Pardcast-a-thon and MST3K’s Turkey Day 2014 recaps; AlexTron goes rogue; Bar Talk the Mind-Taker; the names of popular wrestlers; car-selling Fanf; Alex lays down, recounts a vivid nightmare, gets loopy; a Kentia Hall postmortem; TV talk, and 3DO DOOM! Ray’s murder will eventually be investigated by Sarah Koenig.

We've collected our 120th episode and Yoshi's on the roof! This week, Alex's pizza reality tour; Ray gets Smashed; our new segment, Drink Food New Thing; the brief lives of Japanese milks; no thanks, Sunkus; the fetid FedEx and big ups to UPS; Alex reconsiders his pricing system; SoftBank continues to fail; the highs and lows of Fantasy Life, and assertive Fanf! Absence of evidence is not evidence of this podcast.

Our 119th Muppisode! This week, more evidence linking Alex with Stanley Tucci; Ray goes Interstellar; an unexpected gift from a posh Persian; Ray’s 2000 inch TV; Alex modernizes his telephone device; raging at SoftBank’s customer “service”; drunk idiots crash the bar; rude gamers; Fanf, and yet another technical foul-up! If you can’t handle this podcast at its worst, you don’t deserve it at its best.

Fall and ebola are in the air! CRITICAL*HIT is up and running, with stories of friends, fries, and Final Fantasy; we discuss Halloweens past and present; Alex’s accidental blood pact; slow-motion diving into the Bayonetta bilogy; Fantasy Life as FFXI methadone; Ray dips into Hi-sCoool! SeHa Girls; obsessing over the Age of Ultron trailer; the return of Shadowlaw and a visit to the lackluster Orca d’Oro; dutiful donors, and the announcement of our Age of Altron t-shirt contest! This podcast can’t be helped.

S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-Spooky Sundays! Alex is a whirlwind of nerves as he prepares for the bar’s pre-open; a new Information Pad with new possibilities; another typhoon threatens Japan; popular butt bands; the boys discuss weddings (and a funeral); no Halloween plans to speak of; video games… to REDUCE stress?!; and Fan Fun, featuring our now segment “Fame or Gate?”! This podcast needs your help to transfer a lot of money overseas!

Sweet 116! Alex’s hard drive is in a better place now; Ray is the target of road rage; the great American apartment search continues; portable vs. at-home Smashing; a fun-filled visit from two Gold Subscribers; picking up a fryer on the cheap; the hunt for bread; MST3K in Japan; the three B’s and avoiding confrontation at a barbecue; thanks, typhoon!; sandbagging; an exploration of various Kongs; an Aussie shout-out; frames aplenty; a very Vancouver thank-you, and a brief eulogy for Mathew Klickstein’s career! See our ad in Juggs!

We’re Back! Two Jackasses’ Story. Ray upgrades his Information-Phone and home entertainment unit; an exploration of Charles E. Cheese and survival horror; Critical Hit draws nearer to its Grand Opening; dealing with the Japanese “Home Center”; the fall of Shadowlaw; a trip to Tokyo Disney and the 8-4 pre-TGS shindig; disappointment at Luida’s Tavern and Artnia; fiscal practices of Japan’s well-to-do, and supercharged Fanf! This podcast is waiting for you in the hot tub.

This week, Ray begins the search for a new domicile; corrections from last week’s episode; welcome to the shitheap that is the NHK; prepping pub paint and Japan’s insistence on the fax; we love #1, and the Fan Fun theme makes a triumphant return! Vote for us in the 31st Annual Battle Creek Podcast Awards!

Take a number! This week, first impressions of the SlimeStation 4 and other game news; summer scorch winds down; Alex’s continuing visa struggle; more Japanese banking in(s)anity; #nomorewhoppers; Ray gives TMNT two shells down; too many Blade Runner references; Alex waits anxiously for GotG’s Japanese premiere; bar renovation begins and drinking with salarymen; hanging out with a NoMoWo fan at Genesis; Microsoft’s flaccid Japanese Xbox One marketing; brick and mortar nostalgia; high-tech POS equipment, and forceful Fan Fun! Don’t cry for us, we’re already dead.

Halfway to 224! T-shirt sales are through the roof!; bugging Brad’s rad dad Tad; beard trimmer rebirth; the northward-bound package; Are You Being Severed; the steady decline of the Simpsons; too cool for media; podcasts in Japan; H&S For Men Scalp EX; an evening in a Japanese love hotel; Alex in hot water; Fanf, featuring some generous donors, and the new mini-segment MAXIMUM ‘TUDE! This podcast is a work of fiction.

Our eleventy-first episode! This week, we’re happy to announce that our shirt is selling like T-cakes!; Ray expands his Super Game Boy collection; retro console maintenance; a brief history of Miracle Warriors; welcome to Abobo’s; will podcast for food; Marvel Cinematic Universe talk; dealing with shitty events; touring America with Immigrant Alex; getting back into the world of fantasy; Alex demands coupons, misunderstands groupons; donor thanks; drunk Home Alone, and enjoy our famous pre-post post-show! Get this podcast FREE with any purchase of $250 or more at participating Dollar Generals!

This podcast gives 110%! This week, the contents of quiche; Ray breaks barriers at Six Flags; Alex refuses Tokyo Disneyland; the commercialization of Square-Enix brands; Critical Hit news and visa panic; Costco from a distance; Alex wants to cosplay several times; John Grisham presents Facebook lickers, and a sartorial offer exclusive to listeners! Professional podcasters on closed course.

More of this?! This time we talk commercial props; more on corporate transparency; Nintendo Japan’s MK8 promo is rose gold bullshit; Pokemonotony; MS-DOS what 32Xn’t; taking whiners in stride; kicking back at the KKB; The Nagoya Skip; the perils of Beatlemania; the local meat market and an expensive sale in #Japan; Square-Enix been served; Zelda Muslim; donor thanks in stereo, and new videogaimz! This podcast was inspired by actual events.

Our 108th episode of destiny! This week, Dinner Food Copy; Pine SOL; sweating through your suit and summer vs. winter; Alex’s birthday haul; dispelling the myths of blood type in this week’s #Japan; Tako Talk, and insuring our bones and teeth! If you don’t listen to this podcast today, don’t bother coming in on Monday!

Lucky 107! In this outing, Table Tool Time Episode 001; trying to open a business account in this week’s #Japan; covert advertising in the face of legal pressure; enjoy the free FFXIV weekend by not playing; incredulous foreigners in Japanese advertising; Alex signs on to promote Ireland; the rules of kegs; Fanf rises like a Phoenixph; ranking our pros and cons; logo theft cont’d, and Alex abuses Ray with drop modulation! This podcast will reach the Kuiper Belt in approximately nine years.

Welcome back to the stage of history! This week, retro game shopping, price-gouging Japanese t-shirts; hauling ass through Shovel Knight; summer weddings; logo thievery; multiple viewings; Alex gets Gold Carded; this week in #Japan (or, “It can’t be helped, please understand”); bar scrubdown and nauseating discoveries, and listening in on a child prodigy! This podcast includes scenes too outrageous for theaters!

We’re sweating our butts off! This week, No More Mondays Episode 001; bar news and the financial Hokey-Pokey; an exodus to Genesis; I think we just found Ray’s impressions of Trans4mers; Alex’s tips for drinking at the movies; Game Talk! (Mega Mans, Shovel Knight, Mario Kart 8, Dragon Quest X); the decline of shock-jock shit-heel radio; clumsily bilingual Fan Fun; the brackish pit of internet hyperbole, and we try our luck as Expendables! Trade in this podcast anywhere for $0.35 store credit!

We put the “sad” in “back in the saddle”! This week, Alex’s positive reaffirmations; Critical Filth; the burger heirarchy; adventures in Osaka featuring Daniel Feit and Matt Bloch; Ray’s adventure at TooManyGames 2014; the joy and brutality of Shovel Knight; rolling our Rs; words Alex thinks people want to hear him say; the surprising consequences of self immolation; a savory, full-bodied Fanf, and we summarize last episode’s lost content! Note: the dev team IS AWARE of the Alex glitch and a patch is forthcoming.

Surprise! We thought it lost, but that’s only half true. Apologies for the short episode this week, try not to get lost as our technical foul-up creates a mystifying web of conversation! You can best enjoy this podcast by writing your own damn description.

Broadcast live from the Empire State Building’s 102nd floor! In this week’s hot and sweaty outing, we lead with a technical gaffe; the mystery of Hydrox; the various uses of Twitter; LTTP: Twin Peaks; more Mario Kart talk and the opening of our tournament; thrilling new segment “Names of British Things”; premature Fanf, and The Balcony is Closed! Can you spot the six differences between a raving derelict and this podcast?

An intro to doofery! In this installment, the rigors of completionism; Mario Kart 8 and Koopaling anthroponymy; Dragon Quest VIII frames per second; other notable eights throughout history; fond memories of Homeland Week II; superhero movies and the new X-Mans; echoey shouting; classic voice acting revisited; disagreement over Phoenix Wright localization; mourning the blue Koopa shell; compact Fanf, and we finally become entertaining in the last 15 minutes! This podcast is proud to be featured in part VI of Neil deGrasse Tyson’s lecture series “Understanding the Multiverse”.

Finally operating at 100% capacity! In this thrilling installment, Alex skirts death in the wild; the onsen and Japan Vs. The Foreigners; The Judge Judy Prime Time Special; the Alex & Droopy pilot; bodily injury and new beginnings; what NoMoWo means to us; questions from the social media platform Twitter; renting in Japan cont’d; unnecessary roughness among “fans”; 7-11 beer-flavored alcohol; Korean krooning, and a cornucopia of Fanf! This netcast can be down-loaded for stream-back on your Diamond Rio PMP300 device at virtually any time!

Barbara Feldon presents! This week, pain-vomitting; paying for FFXI fan fiction; the first of more poignant NoMoWo Memories; exploring the Wii U; the joys of garlic; Alex reconnects with an old friend and makes a new one; even more podcast pet peeves; Ray laments the livestream, and Xtreme Fanf! This podcast will return in Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Brunswick.

This week, Alex is on zero sleep; price gouging at this year’s Belgian Beer Weekend; post-workout injury; Bar Watch: Day 753; homemade limoncello; podcast pet peeves; a microcosm of imagined Fanf; The Great Atari Dig brings out muddle-brained conspiracy theorists, and marvel as Alex’s brain burns out in spectacular fashion! Hang a scrunchie on your dorm room doorknob to best enjoy this podcast undisturbed!

Huddle up to our fireplace! This week, Ray goes to hanami; shedding the schlub; fun with Japanese movie titles; post-workout snack food copy; Retronauts Stupid Episode 2; a blog revived and FFXI talk; Hearthstone and Alex’s fiery card-hate; striking a rich vein with Google Translate; Fanf, and a X in 10 revival on the horizon?! Get this podcast FREE with any L.L. Bean purchase of $25 or more!

In our ninety-sixth mistake, we perform a brief analysis of KL5; the Today Show; tax season!!; a night out with a good burger and dim bulb; Alex defends HIMYM; this week in Japanese Peace Fetishism; another return to Vana’diel?; triumphant Fanf; Saturday mornings revisited; the future of X in 10, and the dangers of getting one’s kicks from social media! This podcast is nominating itself for the Caldecott Medal.

It’s our ninety-fifth outing, and sleep is for the weak! This week, a hanami double-header; Nickelodeon’s Japanese presence; Professor Fraioli’s Caffeine 101; suiting up for fun; snack bars and missing digits; social interaction and the weight of “Inside Mode”; Perler beads and sprite art; the brief lives of fan remakes, and adequate Fanf! The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand is when this podcast carried you.

Determine inanity by rolling 9D4! This week, we mourn the loss of a 24-hour stalwart; tweeting the world by storm; two’s company, twelve’s a crowd; thwarted by financial institutions; Alex does a favor for a potential backer; Pocket Monsters Why?; that’s a (Ground) Zero, and the triumphant return of Facebook Likes! Find out more at AOL Keyword Giuseppe.

We’re united in ninety-three! Ray finds unexpected joy at GDC; Alex bombs his money away; the search for more money; take the Intel challenge!; cross-genre missteps; remakes du jour; questions from Twitter, and Fanf me in the face! This podcast will leave the light on for you.

The terrible ninety-twos! This week, carelessness at Safeway; car talk; St. Fraioli’s Day x2; the ungifted program; Japan’s peace fetish; reconnecting with an old non-flame; hired and unhired; bugs for lunch, and some terse Fanf! This podcast is out on the street when it hits eighteen.

Ninety-one ways to leave your lover! In this thrill-packed installment, Ray gets a car; Alex loses and finds his wallet; recovering funds from Wally Weasel; backing out of deals in Japan; awkward dealings with neighbors; Bravely Maxed Out; condemnation of the Internet Nerd Announcer; a special surprise Overnerd; Fanf, and unexpected snack food copy! Ass, gas, or grass; nobody rides this podcast for free.

It’s the go-go 90s! This week, the boys discuss No More Whoppers Bingo; SCROLL 11; more tales of bar apprenticeship; Home Alone’s scar on our psyche; the Olympics?! Kind of?!; Vanilla Ice; Al’s new “game;” seven-story bookstores; Sephiroth; some wonderful new FANF, and and a new round of Twitter questions! This podcast won’t have dishonest cops on this force.

It’s our 89th anniversary! Celebrate with such topics as soundproofing blankets; Alex OTC; Twitter questions (our favorite foods, games, consoles, comedians, podcasts; fear of fun; love; Valentine’s gifts; corporate sponsorship; guest spots; Vito software), and Fan Fun is back on top! Don’t tell this podcast what it can’t do.

We’re in for some serious shit! In this episode of we talk about pop singer marriage; Norbit; Alex is watching LOST for some reason; talk of at least one Super Bowl commercial and then that’s it we swear; Fallout?!; Alex continues the bar search, with a primer on the Japanese “snack bar,” and in FANF, we learn that subscriptions save off the cover price. This podcast did NOT sign up for these Russian bride emails, I don’t know WHAT you’re talking about.

Fresh from Vault 87! This week in… iOS games?!; Alex(’s apartment) blacks out; letters to faceless corporations; lying in court; meet hot tank singles in your area!; seminary seminar; first person pronouns plus alpha; Alex Inc. in Business License World; Fanf, and the boys are mired in stress! Try this podcast with a HOT-N-READY Crazy Combo!

We didn't have a chance to record a proper episode this week, so Alex sat down with childhood friend Brad in a Hilton hotel room to discuss the most disgusting issue of SkyMall ever, pee-floors, and video game/food association! Ray will be back next week with more snack food copy probably!!

Don’t eighty-six us yet! Al and Ray return from the holiday break with news from Alex’s winter vacation, including the Polar Vortex and its effect on his flights; the latest NMW meetup; presents; mustache games; plane reunions (that’s reunions *on* a plane), and a concussion! Plus, talk of RPGs; Phoenix WRONG; and a Christmas bounty of donations! You’re all great. This podcast is up to code.